City Knife by Rachel Hennessy

Author:Rachel Hennessy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: MidnightSun

RATH’S JOURNAL 6

A month has passed since I let the cougar out. I have watched the feeds every day for news of a capture or a sighting, but nothing has come so I can only assume she got away. At night, I lie next to Kalina and think of the cougar padding through the trees, coming to a creek and bending down to drink the cool, fresh water, tasting her freedom. It consoles me, for I feel trapped, as bad as being in gaol again.

If there was ever a chance of bunking out of this ‘mission’, it is gone now. Today was going to be the day I told Kalina I was leaving her. I’d even packed a bag – just a few clothes and the toiletries I use here, this not being a place I’ve lain down roots – though I kept it hidden in the wardrobe, which turned out to be a good decision.

Louise hasn’t been in touch. She told me she wouldn’t be, claimed she needed to be doubly cautious after the break-in, in case Kalina suspected me, but it felt like she’d ditched me, and I couldn’t justify staying in this apartment any longer. I remember reading a story once about a city that survived on the misery of a single child, and when the citizens found out about this, they either decided to leave the place, to take a chance on finding another way to live, or stayed, in the knowledge they only lived because someone else suffered.

I wanted to leave, to take the chance.

Kalina came home in a strange mood. She is often angry and irritable. She is never specific, but I can tell it is related to things not going to plan in her research. Tonight, though, it was different. There was a kind of deep fury in her and I couldn’t do anything right. I wondered, stupidly, if she’d guessed this was the night I was going to announce my departure but then reasoned this wasn’t sensible. Why would she suddenly know? She’d never paid any attention to my moods before.

After dinner, she disappeared into the shower and I steeled myself, walking into the bedroom, opening the wardrobe door, staring down at the bag. My only hesitation came from thinking of Louise. How angry would she be when I told her I’d cut ties with Kalina? Did she have any feelings for me aside from using me to get to her sister?

I heard the shower turn off abruptly. This wasn’t like Kalina, she normally took a long time to clean off the day’s work.

I turned to find her standing in the doorway, a towel wrapped around her middle, water running off her hair and down her shoulders.

‘I’m pregnant,’ she said.

I closed the wardrobe door.

She is three months into the pregnancy. Now that she’s said something I suppose I can see a slight change in her body, though it wouldn’t have ever been enough to make me suspect. She says she thought her period stopped because of stress, never would have thought of this.

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